Real friends?

What is a friend?
Well we know it is some one who will stand by you no matter what and doesn't care.
But its hard these days to know who is really your friend and who isn't.
Like, I thought that one of my friends was there and was going to stay there.
Me and him have been friends for about a year and a half and he was one of the only people i could open up to. But he got a job and works double shift and i understand that. But even when he's off he won't talk to me. Truely i just know alot of people i dont have that many friends.
For someone like me it's hard to find realy friends. I have been told that i'mmessed up in the head and i have problems. My "real" friends and me get into fights because they don't understand why i feel and do what i do. I guess you never understand until it happens to you, but they ask me why do you do this and usually i don't evenunderstand it myself. People usually can tell when I'm upset and everyones in my face " what's wrong?" is what everyone asks I just want to be left alone. Thats it. I just need time to think. I usually vent on my friends wich i feel bad about. I don't want them carrying the burdens i do. I also trust anyone that will smile at me (except phsycologists yuck) which is bad but i cant help it everyone says i need therapy well let me just say this ive been in therapy sense i was lik 4 or 5 and it doesnt help me at all. arn't real friends suppose to understand or try to understand? But no ones......